Shitty First Drafts

One of the best, most freeing concepts I've learned since I started writing is “Shitty First Drafts”. I guess it came from Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird. We talked about shitty first drafts in the creative writing class I took in university. Before that, I’d spent my time trying to edit the story as I went along, and often ended up getting bored long before the story was finished and moving on to a shiny new project. But all of a sudden, I could just let the very first version of my story suck. It just had to exist; it didn’t have to be good, because I could make it good the next time around (fun fact, though- as a student, my “good copy” of any project was only a proofread & corrected version lol. And more neatly written, before I had a computer to use). Now, it’s easier (relatively speaking) to get a story on paper. I just try to write it down as fast as I can to capture the idea, and then I can go over it later and make it make sense and sound pretty.

Just for fun, I thought I’d share the first chapter of Rescue’s shitty first draft. I will do my best to proofread it first, and once I start editing, I’ll share the “good copy" (which, due to realizations throughout the writing process, is likely to be DRASTICALLY different than this original one!).

Chapter One

Paige Brandt rubbed her eyes with one fist while she held the steering wheel with the other. It had been another agonizingly long day at the coffee shop she worked at for a boss who demanded more and more while Paige got less and less. It was barely worth getting out of bed anymore to go. Another girl had quit two days ago, but her boss, Richard, decided he wouldn’t bother filling her shifts. Or her position. He just figured they could run on one less person every day. The girl had quit three days after Richard- or Dick, as everyone called him behind his back- decided their minimum wage paychecks were more than enough to get by on, so they didn’t need the tips the customers left. But he didn’t ask the customers not to leave them anymore, so Paige had a pretty good guess where the money was going.

Paige rounded a turn near the park at the outskirts of town, and suddenly was seized by a sneezing fit.

Friggin’ allergies! she thought.

She eased her foot off the gas pedal, since she couldn’t see where she was going. Before she had a chance to pull over, she felt a flash of terror.

“Oh no!” she cried.

A large buck was at the front of her car. Fortunately, she’d slowed drastically when her sneezing fit started, but she still couldn’t avoid the deer. And the deer couldn’t stop or swerve in time, either. There was a thump, and the deer bounced onto the hood, then slid off into the middle of the road. Paige threw the car in park before it had come to a stop. It jolted hard and threw Paige forward, her seatbelt barely stopping in time from smacking her face on her steering wheel.

She struggled out of her seatbelt to go to the deer, who still hadn’t gotten up.

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled, placing a hand on the buck’s shoulder. It still had a few tufts of grayish winter fur clinging to his otherwise sleek, brown body.

She closed her eyes tight and sent the feeling of regret and sorrow to the buck. She focused hard for a response, hoping he wasn’t hurt. She ran her hands over his body, and he flinched and struggled. Paige closed her eyes and pictured him lying still as she gently ran her hands over his body to see if anything was injured. The buck struggled again, and Paige concentrated harder on the image she was picturing. Instantly, the buck stopped trying to get away and lay still for Paige to check for injuries.

“Nothing seems broken,” she murmured. She moved back from the animal, who got to his feet and shook his head before bounding across the road. He stopped and glanced back at Paige, who was still crouched on the road in front of her car. Then he disappeared into the trees.

Things were peaceful for half a second, then a horn blared and a pickup swerved around her car, narrowly missing it.

“Get off the road you idiot!” the driver yelled.

Paige stood up, her heart pounding. She’d been so engrossed in helping the deer, she’d forgotten she was even on the road. Her car wasn’t fully on the shoulder, and she was in a bad spot for anyone coming around the turn. Thankfully, it was a quiet road, especially early in the evening. But she still should move.

She realized the pickup was backing up. Crap. She didn’t have the energy to deal with road-ragey assholes. She turned to hurry to her car, but noticed the passenger side headlight was hanging off the side of the car, along with a scrape all the way across her hood. All Paige could do was stare for a moment. How the hell was she going to pay for that? The scratch didn’t matter, but she wasn’t sure how long she could get away with the broken headlight before the police noticed. She rubbed the back of her neck with both hands, and tried to keep from screaming.

“Are you okay?”

Paige jumped and turned to look at the pickup driver.

“I hit a deer,” she replied dumbly.

The man in the driver’s seat squinted at her. “Your headlight’s busted and your hood looks a little banged up, but will it still drive?”

“It should.” Paige realized it was still running. Great. Wasting gas. “I wasn’t going very fast.”

“I don’t see the deer, so unless you already put it in your trunk, I take it it’s okay. How about you? Are you hurt?”

Paige peered at the man. She recognized him as Jake Langley, older brother of both her worst enemy during her teenage years, Natalie, and her ex-boyfriend, Nick. She hadn't seen Jake since he'd gotten out of jail a few years earlier. He was even better looking than she remembered, but had a deep scar across the left side of his face, barely missing the piercing hazel eye. She winced, wondering what must have happened. He seemed to notice her staring at the scar, and he frowned.

“Well, you’re out here moving around, so I take it you’re fine,” he said gruffly. He jammed his pickup into drive, about to pull away.

“I’m okay. And the buck told me he was okay, too,” she replied. When she realized what she’d said, she clapped her hand over her mouth and felt her cheeks blaze.

Jake stopped the truck and looked at her out of the corner of his eyes so he didn’t have to turn his scar toward her again. Paige felt her stomach drop. She hadn’t meant to embarrass him about his scar.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Darlin’?” he asked.

Paige was so mortified, she couldn’t even speak, so she nodded.

“Well, if you’re talkin’ with that buck again, would you tell him to come visit my farm out Maple Road sometime in November? I’d love to have him for dinner.”

Paige gaped at him a moment, and he added, “If you’re lookin to get that light fixed, my buddy Jim has the garage out on Almond Street. Tell him Jake sent you and he’ll help you out.”

“Thanks,” Paige mumbled, as the pickup began rolling away. Then she blurted out, “I was actually looking at your eyes, not your scar!”

Jake looked at her again, with his whole face this time, and Paige thought she caught a small smirk before he drove off.

Paige watched him till he was out of sight, still forgetting she was on the road. Another car came around the turn and honked and swerved around her, but thankfully kept going. She sank into the car and moved it off the road, then shut it off and sat for several moments. She took deep breaths, trying to steady her nerves. When her heart stopped racing, she pulled her cell phone from her purse. Two missed calls- one after the other- from Stephen, her boyfriend. Her heart raced again as she pressed the button to call him back. It pounded harder with every ring. By the time his voicemail kicked in, she could barely hear the message over the thudding of her heart.

“I just hit a deer, but I’m fine. The car’s okay, too, mostly. Just a busted headlight and a big scrape on the hood. And the deer’s okay. I’ll be home soon,” she said in a rush, then hung up before the voicemail voice asked her if she wanted to re-record the message.

She put the phone away and flopped back against the seat. Another car went by slowly, the family of four inside peering at her. She waved so they’d hopefully know she was fine and keep driving and leave her alone. Thankfully, they did.

Paige’s stomach rolled. At this point, she honestly didn’t know which part of her day was worse: going to work or going home. Stephen had been so weird lately, she hoped he’d be out with his buddies when she got to the apartment they’d shared for the last fourteen years. He always looked for any little thing to argue about, and she didn’t have the energy tonight.

Twenty minutes passed and she was still sitting there. Her phone hadn’t made another noise. The sun had dipped below the horizon, and darkness was closing in. Paige sighed and started the car again and flicked the headlights on. Headlight. She started for home, noticing every little weird noise the car made, wondering if it was new and something wrong.

The car hadn’t fallen apart by the time Paige made it to the 150-year-old mansion her apartment was in. It had been part of a lavish estate when it was built, but now it was surrounded by an acre of overgrown weeds that were at least green and blooming at the moment, but in a couple months when the mid-summer’s lack of rain and abundance of heat, it would be a tangled brown mess.

Paige sucked in a breath as the top step rolled under her foot. She’d mentioned the loose board a month ago to the landlord, and as usual, his repair skills were as good as his landscaping skills. She wasn’t so worried for herself, although she’d never be able to afford time off for a broken ankle. She was worried for the senior couple who lived in the building, who didn’t get around well, and Paige would hate to see one of them hurt themselves. She’d have fixed it herself, but she didn’t even have a hammer or nails in her apartment- and the only time she thought about buying them was when she almost broke her neck on the broken stairs, never when she was actually in town going by the hardware store.

She unlocked her door and stepped in, holding her breath and trying to feel the atmosphere of the apartment. It felt empty, and she let her breath out in a whoosh when she saw Stephen’s boots weren’t there. One of his friends must have picked him up, because his car was in its spot beside Paige's. She felt funny, because she couldn’t decide if she was relieved or disappointed by his absence.

The relief turned to unease, though, when she went to their bedroom to change into pajamas and saw most of his clothes had been pulled out of his drawers. His side of the closet was empty. He still hadn’t called her back. Her heart beat faster, and she could hardly breathe. She went back to the kitchen, forgetting about changing, and spotted the note on the table. The unease welled up into grief.

Paige,

I’ve been talking to Lesley, and we’d all be happier if I was with her. I’ll be back later for the rest of my stuff.

Stephen

P.s.- It’s really fucking weird that you still think you can talk to animals. Get over it.

That was it.

Fifteen years of her life spent loving him no matter what, doing everything she could to make him happy- and up until a year ago, she’d thought they were happy- and he ends up with the high school girlfriend who dumped him on prom night.

Of course, now that she thought about it, Paige remembered it was a year ago when he’d mentioned running into Lesley somewhere. So that probably explained why Stephen had been acting so weird all this time. They’d been catching up.

Paige dropped down to the floor. Her phone rang in her purse, but she didn’t bother getting up. Instead, she pressed her forehead to the cool, smooth wood floor and cried until she passed out.

That's Chapter One! It's the very rough draft, and now that I'm almost done, I am really, really looking forward to editing and publishing! Chapter one will look very different the next time around. It's evolved since I started writing this, and now that I know what's going on (lol- even with an outline I didn't know as much as I thought I did), I've thought of a much better place to start.

Do you like these kinds of blog posts? I'll have to find a balance between sharing shitty first draft chapters and not giving away spoilers lol. Let me know if you're interested in seeing more chapters, alternate scenes, or scenes from alternate points of view. Thank you for reading!